Every year, my family runs in the annual Turkey Trot 5K. Every year, I say, “next year will be the great year where I train and run and win!”
Every year that doesn’t happen, and that has never been truer than this year. It’s tradition, you guys. Tradition. And I decided since I will be waddling along at a drunk turkey’s pace, I’ll talk to you guys!
The race starts in 15 minutes. Let’s see what happens!
9:28: this is the point in the race when I catch up to the runners who started walking. I’m trying to avoid yelling, “these are my people!!”
9:37: WHERE IS THE ONE MILE SIGN?!?
9:38: I need an exit strategy because this is the worst.
I’m not posting the time because I trust you all to have basic number crunching skills:
THERE IS A SIGN/GOD!
9:51: I’m just listening to “Be Prepared” on repeat on this point.
I also almost just got hit by a car because I was distracted by the live-blogging, but also, 5K, guy. Get it together.
9:54: in starting to see people who have finished, which is a good sign, but why do they still seem to be running around?
9:56: my dad just got a video of me walking, realizing he was taking a video then start running and smiling. My life is a lie.
Unspecified time later: FINISHED! And aside from the horrible parts, I feel better having done it! I can’t wait for the next year which is the great year, where I train and run and win!
These were the stairs I vomited on two years ago while definitly running. History.