I like my Face Masks an Unsettling Grey

Earlier today I posted a rant about Windows 8 trying to start conversation with me. I decided I shouldn’t be the absolute grumpiest* person, and deleted the post. Then I decided I was overthinking things, and reposted it. (I’m really fun to be around right now)

So in an attempt to dig myself out of my mood, I decided to try a new face mask.

And can I just say, what’s the deal with these paper face masks? They’re suddenly all over the place, but at the same time, terrifying. There’s going to be a new horror movie about a gang of young women in their 20s, that roam the streets inciting violence wearing paper face masks and leggings as pants.

One is a famous character from horror movies. the other is cleansing her face. i cant tell which is which either.

I did not use a paper mask. I used Que Bella repairing charcoal mud mask. My In-Target logic: “Charcoal. Science. I’ll take it.”

I started buying Que Bella face masks because I have a habit of talking myself into buying everything when I’m in any degree of a bad mood. Que Bella masks are not expensive, and they are not something I would buy in my normal routine. The damage is minimized.

The latest needless purchase: plaid tissue boxes because they are plaid.

See! I can adult! Budgets and stuff!

I was disconcerted from the moment I opened the packet. I know anything with charcoal in it is not going to be the typical face-mask-pastel, but I tend to grow wary of putting things on my face that are the same color as smog.

Hexxus: Doesn’t not look like my face mask

 I continued to be disconcerted when basically Hexxus from Fern Gully my face mask smelled like toothpaste.

So I’ve got something that smells like toothpaste and has the consistency of toothpaste gone bad. Am I rubbing toothpaste on my face? I mean…possibly.

But you know that old phrase: There is no bravery like covering yourself in grey toothpaste!

  1. Application – You start applying the old-eraser-color-face mask, and you can feel the menthol starting to work immediately. And by “feel the menthol starting to work immediately”, I mean, your whole face burns off, Indiana Jones style. Say goodbye to your eyeballs because this stuff is strong. Reading the description on the back of the package, calls it a “refreshing sensation.” I call it immediate regret. But to Que Bella’s credit, the stinging starts to taper off. And you realize you are a wuss you prevailed.
  2. Wait for 15 minutes – A suggestion for ways to spend your 15 minutes: think of different names for the color of what’s cooking on your face. Sickly fish? Dead man’s toe? Angry elephant baby? Yes, that one.
  3. Rinse off and pat dry – My personal technique is spend ten minutes cleaning my face off because the mud mask has hardened into actual cement. I’m actually part mud mask now, you guys.

Ultimately the mask is pretty refreshing when all is said and done. Only minor face-burning-off-potential. I will mention however, I will be cleaning my sink after this because what once was white is now a striking splotchy grey.

But you know that other old phrase: A splotchy grey sink is the sign of a lazy 27 year old who may or may not have a face left.

Recommend? I would probably recommend other Que Bella mud masks before the charcoal, but all in all, not a life-ruiner.** Try their Deep Sea Mud Mask.

Where? Your nearest Target


*That honor should be reserved for my neighbor who got to hear me sing along to the soundtrack of The Muppets. That doesn’t mean I’m not laying claim to the absolute coolest person. Because I’m all over that. Just ask my neighbors.

**A top notch qualification for face masks.


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