Business Books: How I will Make my Millions

There’s this thing at my job where you can get reimbursed for books that contribute to your professional development. It’s a pretty wide genre. You can get books by Malcolm Gladwell or Atul Gawande, both widely recognized as great writers. The “professional development” genre also includes what I call “business books.” Books to teach you better habits. Book to teach you how to have more effective conversations. Books to teach you about saying yes to opportunities. And even books to teach you how to win friends and influence people. Because it’s not creepy to need a book for that!

And these books are popular! Crazy popular! And as someone who wants to write a book some day, I thought maybe I could try my hand at starting a business book. Some of my ideas:

  • The 14 Habits of Normally Effective People
  • The 15th Habit I Made Up to Sell This Book
  • The 16th through 27th Habits of the Most Normally Effective People
  • The 30 Other Habits that are Also Fine
  • Don’t Lean In (It’s Bad for Your Back): But You Should Still Do All That Leadership Stuff
  • Regular Conversations: Tools for Talking When You’re Ok With Regretting What Comes out of Your Mouth Sometimes, but Everything is Mostly Fine
  • Getting to Yes: Negotiations and Taking What You Want While Other People Are Distracted By Your Singing Voice
  • Getting to Yes II: Get Soft Serve Instead!
  • Loud: The Power of Yelling and Waving Your Arms Around in a World That Will Be a Little Bit Scared of You
  • How to Win Friends Based On Lessons From This  Book Because You’re Not Very Good At Listening and Thinking of Others And That’s Really All It Takes

Being very honest, I’ll tell you I’ve never read any of the actual business books. I’ve picked them up, but something about a book essentially teaching me “just do it better” or “consider being less bad”, has prevented me from ever putting the money down. I’m stubborn. What can I say, I could use a book about being a highly effective business book reader.

If you’ve read these books, and get something out of them, more power to you. You are probably more open minded than I, and chances are, you’re doing it better. But keep in mind, leaning in is fine, but it requires core exercises, a fact you’ll learn in my sequel to the aforementioned Don’t Lean In, titled the following: If You Have Time to Lean, You Have Time to Buy This Book.

Coming 2054.

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