Troubleshooting with Meredith: Keyboard not working?

I could explain my delay in posting. I could tell you how crazy work has been. I could tell you that I basically end each day reveling in a good solid “quiet sit.”

Instead, I’ll leave you with the technology troubleshooting tip guide I’ve been developing over my last two and a half years at a tech company.

Something doesn’t work. Could be your computer froze. Let’s say typing on your keyboard isn’t actually doing anything. What do you do?

  1. Pause. Try typing again. Maybe you imagined it.
  2. Nope. Super broken. Try it again, but with more feeling!
  3. TYPE HARDER.
  4. Still nothing? Pause for 20 seconds.
  5. Try it again, but this time type more slowly and even harder than before.
  6. Check those caps lock/insert/num lock settings. Maybe one of those is messing you up.
  7. Try typing again, but you know…better.
  8. Decide that humans weren’t meant to type. Just look at the pioneers.
  9. After twenty seconds of pondering if you have what it takes to live off the grid, get indignant about being outsmarted by some cords.
  10. Try hitting “enter” quickly and repeatedly
  11. Try hitting “alt” and “enter” quickly and repeatedly
  12. Maybe the window on your screen doesn’t have focus. Angrily click on the field where you want to type.
  13. After that doesn’t work, take a moment to say to your computer, “we’re ok.” Try typing again.
  14. When that doesn’t work, sit back and be vocally sad. Your office mate will love it.
  15. Ask your office mate if she is feeling sad about your broken keyboard.
  16. Office mate pretends to be listening to music.
  17. Wonder if you’ve tried typing harder.
  18. Try typing harder.
  19. Maybe you’re being too angry. Try typing more softly.
  20. Unplug your keyboard and plug it back in.
  21. Wiggle the cord around. That definitely does something.
  22. Type normally, but give your computer the stink eye while you’re doing it.
  23. Type normally, while mumbling threats to your keyboard.
  24. Explain to your officemate that you’re not mumbling threats at her.
  25. Ask your office mate to google “why isn’t my keyboard typing?”
  26. Start following the instructions and get frustrated that I don’t have that icon that username TinkerbE11E suggests clicking on.
  27. Yell, “I CAN DO IT” at office mate when she has a suggestion.
  28. Apologize to office mate.
  29. Have you tried typing harder yet?
  30. In a last ditch effort, wiggle the cord connecting the keyboard to your computer monitor, but the opposite direction from before.
  31. It works.
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