Spooky Sunday: Morning Breath

Printed in Life Magazine, October 1953

Let’s take a closer look.

“We’ll confess – if you will. You know when you wake up your breath is not as fresh as it might be. That stale and furry taste is a sure sign of bad breath.

“And we know simply using Chlorodent, our chlorophyll-plus toothpaste, won’t get you married within a week . . . or make your husband shower you with orchids!”

Ok. Let’s pause.

I absolutely expect my toothpaste to prevent tooth decay, strengthen enamel, get me married within a week, and make my now-husband shower me with orchids while we exchange facts about each other because we’ve only known each other for a week and I’m a firm believer in stranger danger. I also expect teeth whitening.

Get it together Chlorodent. You’re falling behind.

But seriously, if my husband is going to shower me with anything, it better not be orchids. Those things are expensive. I should know. I’ve walked into a Whole Foods.

Things I would rather be showered in by my husband I’ve known for a week:

  1. Compliments, preferably about my cool pumpkin mask
  2. Double cheese burgers
  3. Plaid scarves from Target
  4. New electronics. All of mine seem to be breaking at once. I’m pretty sure they planned it at the “Meredith’s Electronics Conference.” If you attend, you get a faulty battery, a cracked screen, and a free tote bag.
  5. Space. I’ve known you for a week. Back up, fella.

Moving on…

“But we do say Chlorodent, gets rid of “morning mouth.” Its generous helping of chlorophyll ends bad breath for hour after hour. And here’s the “plus”, Chlorodent brightens the teeth measurably better than any other leading toothpaste formula.

“This we guarantee – or Lever Brothers Co. will return your money. Isn’t that reason enough for buying Chlorodent today?
P.S.-And all this goes for Chlorodent Teeth Powder, too.”

It also comes in a powder?! I take it back. Load me up, Chlorodent.

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