On Friday I was sitting in my office and it was dark outside. It was also 4:50.
I’d been listening to the wind rip into the side of my building all day, and knew that it was bringing winter with it. The day started in the sixties, and by the time I left work, a harsh 32 was slapping me in the face.
When temperatures plummet that quickly, your body doesn’t have a chance to keep up, so I was freezing. Fingers-hurt-freezing. Involuntary-tooth-chatter freezing. I was chomping at the bit for my 3:00 meeting because it would mean I get to move!
And if I move, I won’t die of hypothermia! Awesome!
It was when I got to the meeting, and everyone was having the requisite “you ready for winter?” discussion, given the temperature plummet, I mentioned 1) I was cold, and 2) the subsequent sadness at aforementioned cold.
It’s then that someone informs me, “it’s not that cold, Meredith. Look at me. I’m wearing shorts!”
I don’t care that you’re wearing shorts, you big dumb-dumb. I’m cold.
That’s like saying, “You’re not that hungry. Look at me! I’m eating a burger!”
“You’re not sick! Look at me! I’m doing jumping jacks!”
“You’re not sad! Look at me! I’m very very happy!”
You and I are allowed to feel things differently!
And why on Earth on you wearing shorts in November even if you’re not cold?! You’re a grown-up at your job in November. #pants
And yes! I know that it is only November, and it is only in the 30s, and Wisconsin has not yet begun to winter, but as a general disclaimer, you don’t get to have a say if another person feels hot or cold.
If it was not clear, the answer is no. I’m not ready for winter.
Things that happen in winter:
- My rings go flying across the room when I make a hand gesture because the cold has decreased my ring size just enough. It’s a hazard.
- I use no less than 9 moisturizing products daily to stop feeling like a 200 year old witch who just had her youth spell broken by some scampy teenagers, and now her 200 years are catching up with her eternally drying-out skin.
- I sit in my car for inappropriately long periods of time in various parking lots because I know winter is going to slap me so hard across the face that I can’t breath for a second once I go outside, so I have to have special pep talks for walking into the grocery store or Target or getting out of bed in the morning.
- My curly hair will quickly and all at once, go flat. And not in a “cool! Meredith has straight hair for a season!” way, but in a way that makes you want to tilt your head and say, “Bless your heart” to my hair follicles because they’re trying. They just can’t.
- My car shows me all the unhealthy noises it can make. It’s an impressive range!
- Delivery men get to see me at my finest (see above)
- Snow and cold. And ice. And lots and lots of snow and cold and ice.
Realistically I know these problems are not special or huge or permanent. This isn’t The Chronicles of Narnia. It’s not always winter, and it is sometimes Christmas.
I’m just very cold.
Don’t worry though, my colleague was wearing shorts. It can’t be that bad.
Looping in the Week in Review post as I almost immediately fell asleep last night…
There may be a week where I surprise all of you and post the “Week in Review” and I’m not reading a book about a smart and funny woman’s story. What can I say? Interesting women are interesting.
For those unfamiliar with Issa Rae, she began her career with the similarly named web series “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” which premiered in 2011 describing her experience as a black student attending Stanford.
In the book, she’s raw and funny and unforgiving about her flaws, and it makes you want to read more. Or if you’re like me, listen to the audiobook in the Target parking lot, a pleasant distraction from the Arctic wind you’re actively trying to avoid.
The book was recently adapted into a TV series for HBO, titled Insecure.
What I am watching: Fleabag
It took me awhile to actually decide on watching this one. I seemingly dashed right over it every time I saw it on my Amazon Prime menu. Fleabag is an upsetting word.
The show is funnier than I expected. Sadder than I expected. Haunting, but hopeful. And I want the cast’s wardrobe.
It’s about a woman coping with the recent death of her friend, while struggling with her own personal demons.
Am I being coy? Yes. Do I promise it’s actually funny because it doesn’t sound like it would be funny? Yes.
I will also add as we face a week where many of us are going to be spending time with family, there are some scenes that add this show to the “don’t watch with the parents” genre. Not a candidate for Black Friday binging.
What I am googling: “What’s that called when sports teams huddle and then yell a group cheer chant Mighty Ducks quack”
Unsurprisingly, Google did not love that search criteria.
If the question is haunting you too, the best I could come up with is pre-game chant.