Like many of you, I am traveling today. I also happen to specialize in tiny airports. Just the tiniest. Airports for Polly Pocket are my jam.
The airport I frequent most has a grand total of 13 gates, and they are endlessly proud of each and every one of them, despite me only ever seeing the same three in use.
In terms of airport amenities, it’s been undergoing a revamp.
We used to have a couple off-brand Hudson News stores where you can get local cheese shaped like a tractor and cheese hats shaped like sombreros. There were two sit down restaurants, a coffee shop that only employed the moodiest of teenagers, one woman in purple scrubs reading mystery novels beside an empty massage chair…and Quiznos, the sandwich shop.
Good old Quiznos. The bastion of cheap food in the hustle and bustle of 13 whole gates and cheese merchandise. I live in the suburbs, and joke, “we have Quiznos!” when asked what restaurant culture is like. (We also have Taco Bell)
Quiznos has my back when I’m happy and sad. When I’m cold and when I’m hot. When I’m traveling and when I’m not. When I’m making fun of it and when I’m just thinking about making fun of it, but busy eating a sandwich. Can you fault someone for wanting to bring more sandwiches into your life? No. No one loves you like Quiznos.
Until I discovered today, Quiznos is no more.
Here is what we have now:
New wine and beer cart. It is the Midwest, after all. We love a good alcohol cart.
A radio location of a local grocery store that serves snacks and sandwiches.
Here’s the thing. I like this grocery store! But that’s where I go if I want to splurge a little bit and buy fish! Or steak! Or anything but chicken! It’s where I go to feel fancy! But I’m not fancy! It’s inherently too expensive for grabbing a sandwich!
And they don’t understand the “junk food is ok if you’re traveling” rule! They have snacks like almond sprinkles or wheat pops or quinoa feelings.* Where my Bugles at?! I gotta make witch-fingers for my seat mates! They love it!
We also have a gastropub. I’ll pass-tropub.
You let me down, airport. And Quiznos, I can’t even talk to you right now.
(Side note: I have to use the restroom, but I’m afraid of losing this outlet I’ve been hoarding. I think this is where the idea for The Hunger Games came from. I’ve been yelling “NOT IN MY HOUSE!” every time someone makes eye contact which serves to intimidate and confuse. It’s been going well!)
*all real-people snacks.
On a real note, safe travels today, everyone! May life bring you family, friendship, and unguarded outlets with which to charge your phones!