You Made it Weird: History’s Christmas Part II

Never underestimate the power of history to keep weirding everybody out.

Frosty prefers water. His mom and Michael Bloomberg have talked to him a lot about the dangers of soda.

“I don’t care what Pinterest says. This party is weirding me out.”

Fun fact: This is actually how I bring the boys to my yard.

The Victorians made some choices. Some were to play fast and loose with imperialism, others were this Christmas card. 

If this is the final product, I’m desperate to see earlier drafts of this marketing.

So I think we can all agree, Santa needs eye balls. How will he see Rudolph’s red nose guiding his sleigh? How will he know where to find his cookies? Do you think this is a game? This girl knows what’s up.

Pictured: How not to make French toast

What about this isn’t festive?! There’s a snowman and some holly and a woman bursting through the snowman’s stomach like the movie Alien. What about that doesn’t say “A Joyous Christmas”?!

Paul understands the public’s frustration with being force fed Christmas before the season even starts, but 72 days in advance seems like a fine time to start wearing his Christmas tree suit.

Door height means nothing when faced with festivities.

“This is just where I lounge. It’s very natural and normal. My rear only goes numb most of the time.”

Based on what she is holding, one can either assume something terrible has happened to Santa or she emptied the dryer filter.

Just some Victorians continuing to make great and normal Christmas card choices.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

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