You Made it Weird: History’s Halloweens II

As it turns out, there’s enough weird in history for a second look at History’s Halloween. Missed the first? Check it out here.

When people ask about my Friday night plans…

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Image: Sandra Dee, ca. 1960. Getty Images

Making a Pumpkin-House a Pumpkin-Home

Image: Myrna Dell, ca. 1940. Public domain.

“You know, I feel like you just reach a point in your life where you have to buy investment pieces when you’re furnishing your pumpkin.”

My Five Year Plan

Photo: June Marlowe, ca. 1930. Public Domain

Next step: Figure out why my car is making that one noise, then take over the world.
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Spooky Sunday: It’s not weird!

Skinless Frankfurters or Wieners ad, ca. 1960s.

We’re half way through October, so it might be the point in the month where you start making your Halloween plans. Have you considered a Weeny Witch party? Don’t you love “barrels of fun”? It’s my favorite unit of fun!

And ok, my ideal party is just me dancing around, scream-singing the soundtrack to Newsies in my pajamas, eating shrimp tacos, so maybe my idea of a barrel of fun doesn’t include anthropomorphized wieners. But look at their faces! They seem into it!

Your friends won’t think it’s weird. They might say, “this is weird,” but they’re not thinking it.

Spooky Sunday: Am I helping??

 

 

“That’s the perfect place for a showdown of mythical creatures! On the ground a foot to the left! Wouldn’t want you to move or anything!”

Promotional still from Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, 1943. Universal Pictures.

 

Spooky Sunday: Morning Breath

Printed in Life Magazine, October 1953

Let’s take a closer look.

“We’ll confess – if you will. You know when you wake up your breath is not as fresh as it might be. That stale and furry taste is a sure sign of bad breath.

“And we know simply using Chlorodent, our chlorophyll-plus toothpaste, won’t get you married within a week . . . or make your husband shower you with orchids!”

Ok. Let’s pause.

I absolutely expect my toothpaste to prevent tooth decay, strengthen enamel, get me married within a week, and make my now-husband shower me with orchids while we exchange facts about each other because we’ve only known each other for a week and I’m a firm believer in stranger danger. I also expect teeth whitening.

Get it together Chlorodent. You’re falling behind.

But seriously, if my husband is going to shower me with anything, it better not be orchids. Those things are expensive. I should know. I’ve walked into a Whole Foods.

Things I would rather be showered in by my husband I’ve known for a week:

  1. Compliments, preferably about my cool pumpkin mask
  2. Double cheese burgers
  3. Plaid scarves from Target
  4. New electronics. All of mine seem to be breaking at once. I’m pretty sure they planned it at the “Meredith’s Electronics Conference.” If you attend, you get a faulty battery, a cracked screen, and a free tote bag.
  5. Space. I’ve known you for a week. Back up, fella.

Moving on…

“But we do say Chlorodent, gets rid of “morning mouth.” Its generous helping of chlorophyll ends bad breath for hour after hour. And here’s the “plus”, Chlorodent brightens the teeth measurably better than any other leading toothpaste formula.

“This we guarantee – or Lever Brothers Co. will return your money. Isn’t that reason enough for buying Chlorodent today?
P.S.-And all this goes for Chlorodent Teeth Powder, too.”

It also comes in a powder?! I take it back. Load me up, Chlorodent.

You Made it Weird: History’s Halloween

Happy Halloween weekend everyone!

In honor of all those costumes you’ll see this weekend, and think, “wait…what?” I’m here to tell you, those people are just continuing a long tradition of making the room a little bit weirder.

Costume: Uncomfortable for everyone

Costume: A side of bacon, but jaunty-like

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